For a friend who I need to trust better. I'm sorry for all of this and I hope she'll forgive me...

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When something horrible has happend you, you cant let it go. It stays with you forever. & haunts you in your sleep. Especially when someone close to you causes the pain. You will always be afraid that it will happen again. It will eat you up inside. Then mabee someday you will let people back into your life, but you will always remember what had happened. This is why you worry and accuse. Then they push away and your alone again!